What's He to you?

Tonight was one of those nights I couldn’t wait to climb in bed and shut my eyes.  But after lying there for an hour, my brain working in overdrive, jumbled thoughts running in circles, and (to be quite honest… because, hey, it’s my blog) a sort of sad heart, I prayed over and over and over again, “Please, Lord, clear my head of this mess so I can SLEEP!”

That prayer went unanswered, so here I am.  We’ll see where those thoughts take me.

I have had this problem lately where He'll speak something into my spirit that I feel I need to share.  But if I don’t share it right then… POOF!  It’s gone.  So I won’t procrastinate on this one.

To me, one of the best parts of summertime is watermelon.  Would you agree?  I don’t know about you, but I tend to be picky about my watermelon (and most all fruit, for that matter).  I’ll stand over the bin in Walmart for 5 minutes, picking through to find the prettiest, most perfectly round watermelon. 

Aren’t you so glad that’s not how Jesus treats us?  He doesn’t stand over the bin saying, “Nah, I don’t want that one; it’s too dirty.  Nope, not that one; it’s got too many bruises.  That one is so ugly on the outside, there’s no way it’s nice and juicy on the inside.”

He doesn’t care about our bruises.  Our dirt.  Our stains.  Our inconsistencies.  He accepts us just the way we are.  He made us in His image, for crying out loud.  Hopefully, we haven’t let our bruises (because we all have them) affect our heart.  Hopefully our bruises haven’t turned us into bitter Christians.  But even if our “issues” HAVE affected our fruit, he still lovingly allows us into His arms.

About a week ago, I started reading a new devotional that was suggested by a friend.  It’s called “Out of the Spin Cycle” by Jen Hatmaker.  WOW.  I am loving it.  I can’t go a day without reading.  And every single chapter has something specifically for me.  I swear, it’s like she’s in my head.  It’s a great read for all mommies. 

Yesterday, the chapter I read dealt with how we identify Jesus.  She states that we tend to identify Jesus with our “personal heroes, legends, and stories – as well as with our own parents, pastors, and leaders.  Harsh, compassionate, impossible to please, legalistic, kind, unfaithful, trustworthy, wrathful… we assign Jesus the labels we’ve known.  You and I have already done this.  As adults, we are finding our conclusions to be right or wrong, enjoying God’s true character or unlearning what we have misjudged.”

She goes on to mention the key point.  Our children are in the process of learning WHO Christ is.  They assign Jesus an identity according to the “spirit of their homes and the language of their parents.”  Whose job is it to help them decide who Jesus is?  It’s ours!

Jesus is all knowing.

Jesus is mighty.

Jesus is powerful.

Jesus heals.

Jesus loves.

That’s my personal favorite.  Who do my children say Jesus is?  Most of all, I want them to know that He is full of love.  Unconditional love.

One Sunday morning a few weeks ago, we were getting ready to walk out the door for church (literally had already set the alarm and had one foot on the first step) when Jase looks at me with tears in his eyes, cup in hand, and a big fat tea stain right down the front of his shirt.  So what did I do?  I came a tad unglued.  (Don’t judge… we all do it.  I admit my faults, and it’s not something I’m proud of.)  Sometimes I forget that he’s 6, not 16.  And that’s definitely one thing I’ve prayed a lot about and work on daily.  I have to stop and remind myself that life is full of spilled milk.  There’s just no way around it.  The one and only variable that I can control is MY REACTION to the spilled milk.

The best part of that story, however, is the fact that 5 minutes later, he hugged and kissed me and acted like I was still worthy of the #1 MOM award. 

Yes, I was upset.  Yes, I overreacted.  But did he still love me?  Of course, he did.  I’m his mommy & he will always by my baby.  He loves me unconditionally.  And that’s exactly how our Lord is toward his children.  His love is undeniable, no matter how many times we mess up.  He’ll never turn us away because we’ve become sour, bitter, bruised, or dirty. 

Unreserved.  Unrestricted.  Unlimited.  Unconstrained.  All out.  Complete.  Definite.

So when Jen said, “we must teach our children who Jesus is any way we can.  Assuming they will pick it up from church is irresponsible; there is no other relationship more important for us to nurture.  What good is it if our kids graduate summa cum laude but still think Jesus is angry, irrelevant, judgemental, or unreal?  They must know how he held babies and raised children from the dead.  They have to hear how he was the life of the party and loved the outcasts.  They need to understand he wasn’t killed or caught but that he laid his life down willingly,” and He would do it all again.

One day, someone may ask my children, “Who do you say Jesus is?  What’s He to you?”

It’s my job to make sure they have an answer. 

And my answer is:  Jesus is… unconditional love.

***(This blog post includes excerpts from Jen Hatmaker’s Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load – Chapter 17 entitled "Tequila Sunrise")

You can purchase the book HERE! and I highly recommend that you do!

growing weary in doing good

Sometimes we find inspiration in the strangest of places.  During my daily, mundane chores as a wife and mommy, my mind often wanders and I’m reminded of His promise to me.

Today, He spoke through the laundry basket.  Crazy, I know.  Right about now you’re thinking, “She’s lost it.  Gone head first off the deep end.”  But I’m going somewhere with this… just stick with me.  And while we’re on the subject of craziness, currently, I’ve locked myself in the closet to write this blog post.  My youngest child is determined to listen to 10 seconds of every song loaded on the iPod, not to mention at FULL VOLUME.  The closet is my one and only quiet place to retreat.

Back to my wandering thoughts.

I don’t claim to suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (at least not a full blown case), but I do have some tendencies.  I’ll leave those for another day.  But when it comes to chores, I have a method to every madness.  A routine.  A checklist for every thing.  My laundry gets done on the same day, most every week.  But how long before it actually gets put away into its final resting place varies.  I really dread taking the clothes out of the basket and putting them away, even though it takes a total of, oh, 10 minutes tops.

The very last things to make it out of the basket are the socks.  And it never fails; they are ALWAYS inside out.  For some reason, my family doesn’t know how to take their socks off without pulling them from the top, thus causing them to be turned inside out.  And instead of taking 2 seconds to fix them, they are washed inside out.  I know, I know… this is not a major, life-changing dilemma.  But it BOTHERS ME.  Instead of being able to simply find the matches and fold them up nice and neatly, I have to take extra time out of my already busy day to turn them “right-side” out.

Every week when I complete this daunting task, I say to myself, “Self, WHY, oh why, can’t anyone do this correctly???”

Hang on, I’m going somewhere.

Today, I made the same old ‘ugh’ noise and began fixing the socks and finding their matches.  And I thought, you know, I could just put them together “as is” and let the boys deal.  I’ll teach them a lesson.  But, again, my OCD tendencies will just not allow me to do so.  I will not be able to sleep at night knowing the socks are inside out in the drawer!!! 

And that’s when the light bulb went off. 

He said, “Just because no one’s watching, you still must do what’s right.  I know you’re tired of fixing these silly socks, doing what you know in your heart is right & what I’ve called you to do, but don’t fret.  Don’t grow weary.  Keep doing it the way it should be done, and one day they’ll catch on.”

Now, He may not have actually spoken those exact words into my spirit, but it was the jest of it.  I just simply applied that to my daily walk with Him.

Colossians 3:23-24 says this… “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.”

Do you get it now?  Even though I get tired of doing what’s right, I have an obligation as a Christian to do what’s right.  Not for my kids, not for my husband, not for myself.  I’m working to please my Father.  He has called me to do what’s good and right, not just when I feel like it.  He’s called me to do it every single day that he gives me breath.

So just when you feel like no one is watching, remember that He is watching your every step, your every decision.  And it’s not like your good deeds will go unnoticed.  He says in His word that He will reward you.  Your heavenly inheritance will be outstandingly marvelous, not for making yourself look good, but for staying strong and fighting the good fight, even when you don’t feel like doing it.

The socks may be my nemesis, but I will fight the good fight and continue to “fix them” and do what’s right, even when no one is watching.

Galatians 6:9 “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

One of these days, my family will learn how to fix their socks before throwing them in the hamper.  But until then, I’ll fold them with a joyful heart and look forward to my blessing.  

story of my life

how many vacuum cleaners can one person need?

nobody passes up free donuts!

my morning routine

 let it GO!

Mommy's idea of quiet time.... McDonald's playhouse

sweet brothers 

a glimpse

Did you read my last post?   If not, take a look.  It'll explain the unorganized thoughts to follow.

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constant tug-of-wars

the never-ending baskets of laundry to fold

Superman... or SuperMOM?  I prefer the latter.

inside-out socks.  enough said.

finally done, only to start over

Let it GO.. and go, and go, and go.

smiling faces

filled with love.

real life drama

Okay, okay.  So my life may not be FULL of drama.  It’s pretty mundane.  

Just how I like it.

It’s been so long since I’ve opened up to my blog.  So many things get in the way.  But now’s as good a time as any.

Another thing I’ve neglected?  My camera.  It’s a shame that my hubby bought this thing and I’m so attached to my cell phone that I rarely drag it out anymore.  Instagram is just so much fun, and the phone is so convenient.  Excuses, excuses.

I’m challenging myself to document my “real life drama.”  It might not be nail-biting excitement, but it’s my life.  I chose it.  And I love it.  Every part of it.  From the dirty laundry (literal laundry, not Facebook), to the snotty noses, to the 2^nd day hair, to the exercise I have to force myself into doing, to the yoga pants I might wear one too many times in a week, to the not-so-healthy dinner on the table, to the kisses and cuddles at bedtime, to the unconditional love we give. 

This blog is about to take a glimpse into my

REAL world.

learning to bend

disclaimer:

This post is a complete and utter mess.... just a conglomeration of my thoughts.

There is no real rhyme or reason behind it.

And to top it off,  I'm blogging from the bathroom.

Why, you ask?

Because it's the safest place to be, of course.

We've been home for 30 minutes and all I hear is the commotion of little feet as they chase each other down the hallway and through the kitchen.. only to fall and hit their heads and scream bloody murder.

for the love of sanity.

I adore my children with every ounce of my being, but lately...

Lord, have mercy on my poor soul. 

My 5-year-old has driven me up every scalable wall in the dang house.

rare form, I tell ya.

Maybe it's the weather.  Yep, we'll blame it on the weather.

People keep asking, "So when are you gonna have another one?"  

Just one more.... a little girl, perhaps.

I won't lie.... that same question creeps into my mind daily and leaves me puzzled and completely confused.

Some days I think, "Sure, why not?  Let's go for it."

We'll make do.

And then the very next minute I wonder, "What in the world was I thinking?  We can't start all over."

Then I slap myself and shout... SHUT THE CRAP UP.  

You don't have to have every answer to every question right this very minute.  

Just hold your horses and see where life takes you.

I can do that.

It's hard.

Mainly because I've always had a "plan."  

That term "she get it from her momma"... yeah, that's totally me in a nutshell.

Thanks for that, Mother.

As long as my husband has known me, he's said one of my biggest downfalls is that I was born with zero spontaneity in my blood.

I'm working on it, I promise, and he will vouch for me when I say I've come a LONG way.

Kids will do that to you, I suppose.

I've always liked order.  organization.  schedules.  plans.

And I don't do well when they get screwed up.

But I'm learning to bend.

If we do have a 3rd child, I'll definitely be forced to bend.

Where will it sleep?

we'll figure it out.

Will I ever go to work?

we'll figure it out.

But I've gotten rid of all the "baby" stuff.

we'll figure it out.

I sold all my maternity clothes.

we'll figure it out.

Will I be able to lose the baby weight, AGAIN?

we'll figure it out... and frankly, who cares?  Stop being so selfish.

How will we afford 3 cars, 3 colleges and 3 weddings?

eh... we'll figure it out.

When (or IF) the time comes, we'll figure it out.

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And that, my friends, is a glimpse inside 

my unorganized & overloaded "mommy-brain."