song in my heart

I woke up singing this song... and that usually means something.

I live through music lyrics.  So many times, words from a particular song are spoken into my spirit.  Sometimes they are meant for me.... other times, I feel they are meant to be shared.

This is one of those times.... maybe this song is for you.

I've been singing this song for days.  

It's one of my favorites by one of my favorite singers - Christy Nockels.

I have been singing her songs since I was a teenager, when I first started singing myself.

When I imagine what Heaven will be like & when I picture the angels singing, they sound like her.

And I can't wait to join in that singing one day.

But back to the point of this post... take a minute and read these words, and if you have time, listen to her sing them.  Just close your eyes and listen - with your whole heart.

________________________________________

Already All I Need

Asking where You are, Lord

Wondering where You've been

Is like standing in a hurricane trying to find the wind.

And hoping for Your mercy

To meet me where I am

Is forgetting that Your thoughts for me outnumber the sand.

You fill the sun with morning light.

You bid the moon to lead the night.

You clothe the lilies bright and beautiful.

You're already all I need.

Already everything that I could hope for.

You're already all I need.

You've already set me free, 

Already making me more like you.

You're already all I need.

Jesus,

You're already all I need.

Walking through this life

Without Your freedom in my heart

Is like holding on to shackles that You have torn apart.

So remind me of Your promises

And all that You have done.

In this world I will have trouble, but You have overcome.

And every gift that I receive

You determine just for me.

But nothing I desire compares to You.

You're already all I need.

Already everything that I could hope for.

You're already all I need.

You've already set me free, 

Already making me more like you.

You're already all I need.

Jesus,

You're already all I need.

In Your fullness, You're my all in all.

And in Your healing, I'm forever made whole.

And in Your freedom, Your love overflows

And carries me.... You carry me.

Yes, You carry me... You carry me.

You're already all I need.

Already everything that I could hope for.

You're already all I need.

You've already set me free, 

Already making me more like you.

You're already all I need.

Jesus,

You're already all I need.

Already all I need....

My thoughts on the matter...

I haven’t blogged in a while.  But I saw the perfect opportunity this morning.

As I’ve read countless Facebook comments, some ridiculing, some uplifting, some just simply absurd, I couldn’t help but form my own opinion on the matter.

Yesterday, in a town near me, a 1-year-old died after being left in a vehicle for over 3 hours in the Alabama heat… a precious angel who’s mother slipped up and made one of the worst mistakes imaginable. 

Who knows the reason why?  

Only SHE knows the reason why.  

Maybe she was running on little sleep.  Maybe she was sick.  Maybe she was preoccupied – yes, it happens to us all.  Maybe she just wasn’t thinking.  That happens, too, you know? 

But is it my place to judge her?  

Absolutely not. 

I wasn’t there. 

My morning began with house cleaning.  Oh, the joys.  But sometimes, I don’t mind it as much.  For an hour or so, with the loud hum of the vacuum taking over, I have some time to myself.  No children screaming.  No phones ringing.  No televisions blaring.  Just me and my thoughts.   And this morning, I couldn’t think about anything other than this poor mother whose heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces, and they quite possibly will never be put back together.

With the repetitive motion of the vacuum, moving from room to room, the words just kept coming.  I had no choice but to hand over the Swiffer to my 1-year-old and say ‘have at it.’  (And I’m totally not kidding… he’s making his way through the den as we speak.)  

So here I am typing my thoughts to share with you.  I have no idea who will read them (if anyone) or if anyone even cares.  

But if this post makes one woman feel like she’s doing the best she can as a mom, it’s worth it.

After reading so many other blog posts this morning that are circulating through Facebook, I realized I am NOT alone in this confusing, and often difficult, world of motherhood.  Parenting is the hardest job anyone can ever apply for – hands down.  And you may feel like you are a pro, but let’s face it.  We all slip up.  We all make decisions only to later realize that we probably made the wrong one.  We are all human and we all make mistakes – whether you like to admit it or not.  And though it may sound cliché, accidents DO happen.

This poor mother lost a part of herself yesterday.  She will never be the same.  

Should that be her punishment?  

I would hope and pray that you don’t feel that way.  

Trust me when I say that she will be haunted by this for the rest of her life… or at least until she realizes that she is loved by a God who forgives mistakes, even when the world refuses to do so, and helps us get through the guilt and pain we face with each new day. 

Some people ARE poor excuses for parents.  They have no business bringing a child into this world, and we don’t understand why they are given that blessing while others desire it, yet can’t conceive.  But this woman does not fit into that category.  No, I’ve never met her, but I can assure you she is more devastated than anyone else this morning.

Here's the kicker:

I almost left my firstborn in the car at Wal-Mart when he was an infant.  And I said ALMOST.  It's been so long ago, I don't even remember how it happened.  But I CAN tell you this – I was NOT on my cell phone, or listening to my radio too loud, or distracted by something around me.  My mind was wandering and he was quiet.  I simply forgot he was back there… but only for a split second.  Thankfully, I saw him through the back window when I got out.  I can remember saying to myself, “I am never telling ANYBODY about this.  They’ll think I’m a nutcase.”  And until this very moment, I’ve kept my word.  

Yep, you are the first to know.

I also let my child fall 13 feet out of a window.  Enough said.

Do these mistakes make me a bad mother?  Have I failed at my most important job? 

I personally don’t think so.  

I don’t brag on myself often, but I will say this… I think I’m a pretty dang good mother.  

Not perfect, by any means.  I am learning as I go... and yes, I learn something new every single day.  I look back on the decisions I have made and think ‘I could have done a better job’ or ‘maybe I should’ve handled that differently.’  But I am doing the best I can.

You may not feel the same way I do about this whole situation.  You may go to your grave feeling this woman got what she deserved.  But I pity the day you stand before our Maker and place blame on a mother who simply made a mistake.  She will deal with enough blame from herself.  

Why don’t we try praying for her instead?

• Pray for her family, as they are devastated… their precious baby’s bed is empty this morning and will be every morning to follow. 
• Pray for her husband… as it will be so easy for him to hold his wife accountable for the sorrow he’s feeling.  But she needs him now, and she will need him a year from now.
• And most importantly, pray for this mother… Satan will torment her 24/7.  She needs to be lifted up by believers – who have never even met her and choose not to judge her – and she needs the peace that passes all understanding.

I know of that peace too well.  It saved me.  And it made me a better mother.

**We, as Christians (and humans with faults of our own), are so quick to judge.** 

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults – unless, of course, you want the same treatment.  Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang.  Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier.”  Luke 6:37  The Message