learning to bend

disclaimer:

This post is a complete and utter mess.... just a conglomeration of my thoughts.

There is no real rhyme or reason behind it.

And to top it off,  I'm blogging from the bathroom.

Why, you ask?

Because it's the safest place to be, of course.

We've been home for 30 minutes and all I hear is the commotion of little feet as they chase each other down the hallway and through the kitchen.. only to fall and hit their heads and scream bloody murder.

for the love of sanity.

I adore my children with every ounce of my being, but lately...

Lord, have mercy on my poor soul. 

My 5-year-old has driven me up every scalable wall in the dang house.

rare form, I tell ya.

Maybe it's the weather.  Yep, we'll blame it on the weather.

People keep asking, "So when are you gonna have another one?"  

Just one more.... a little girl, perhaps.

I won't lie.... that same question creeps into my mind daily and leaves me puzzled and completely confused.

Some days I think, "Sure, why not?  Let's go for it."

We'll make do.

And then the very next minute I wonder, "What in the world was I thinking?  We can't start all over."

Then I slap myself and shout... SHUT THE CRAP UP.  

You don't have to have every answer to every question right this very minute.  

Just hold your horses and see where life takes you.

I can do that.

It's hard.

Mainly because I've always had a "plan."  

That term "she get it from her momma"... yeah, that's totally me in a nutshell.

Thanks for that, Mother.

As long as my husband has known me, he's said one of my biggest downfalls is that I was born with zero spontaneity in my blood.

I'm working on it, I promise, and he will vouch for me when I say I've come a LONG way.

Kids will do that to you, I suppose.

I've always liked order.  organization.  schedules.  plans.

And I don't do well when they get screwed up.

But I'm learning to bend.

If we do have a 3rd child, I'll definitely be forced to bend.

Where will it sleep?

we'll figure it out.

Will I ever go to work?

we'll figure it out.

But I've gotten rid of all the "baby" stuff.

we'll figure it out.

I sold all my maternity clothes.

we'll figure it out.

Will I be able to lose the baby weight, AGAIN?

we'll figure it out... and frankly, who cares?  Stop being so selfish.

How will we afford 3 cars, 3 colleges and 3 weddings?

eh... we'll figure it out.

When (or IF) the time comes, we'll figure it out.

_______________________

And that, my friends, is a glimpse inside 

my unorganized & overloaded "mommy-brain."