Where's my joy?

For weeks now, there has been one single word that the Lord has placed in my spirit.  It seems that every single day, He throws something at me and brings me to it.

Joy.

I’ve let that word preach to myself, but I feel like He must have intended for me to share my thoughts with you.

Let’s be honest, joy is a struggle.  There are some weeks where I’m full of it.  Others, I have to force myself to smile.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I get in a rut of irritability or depression, it’s hard to climb out.  But it’s in those times, I can cuddle up close to Him, spend time in His word, and He pulls me right back up where I belong.

Today, He spoke a phrase into my spirit…. “As Christians, when we lack joy, we lack authenticity.”

Now, before you disagree with that statement, let’s think about it.

Authenticity is a quality to possess.  It simply means to be genuine or real, not false (or fake - ouch).

If there is one thing I want to be known as, it’s an authentic Christian.  I want to be genuine and real.  And I want people to see my authenticity on the outside.  They shouldn’t have to dissect my life or open up my heart to see if Jesus lives there.  They should be able to see Him through the joy I possess.  If I’m full of Him, my outward appearance will reflect it.

As Christians, we all have gifts and talents, and they are all different.  But one thing we all have in common is the joy of the Lord.  When we receive Him, he fills us up with joy.  But while His love, grace, and mercy are never failing and can never be separated from us, joy takes a tad more effort on our part.  We have to choose joy; it can come and go.  We must be proactive, spending time with Him, opening up our hearts and allowing him to fill us up until we are overflowing.  When we overflow joy, others will take note.  And I can’t think of a better way to reach souls, to minister to those who are hurting, than to have joy written all over my face.  No word I say or song I sing will be effective without a joyful heart.

“Always be joyful.  Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I’m not saying it’s possible to be joyful 100% of the time.  It’s not always sunshine and rainbows.  And it’s also important to be able to share our struggles with those who need Him.  Some may think we, as Christians, live a stress-free, worry-free life, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  However, when we face difficulty, He never leaves our side and He makes a way out.  And we can be joyful in the bad times because we have hope for a better future. 

“The joy of the Lord is my strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10

Life is full of ups and downs, problems, troubles, sickness, unfairness, and cruelty.   Those things tend to weigh heavy on our hearts and they can quickly steal our joy.  It’s also hard to find joy in the mundane walk of life.  I have a hard time finding joy in dirty laundry, misbehaving kids, politics, current events, and piles of bills.  But when I lack joy, I have to remember... if He’s ever brought me out of a sticky situation, blessed me beyond measure, shown me grace when I least deserved it, then I most definitely have something to be joyful about. 

“Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.”  Psalm 90:14

I will never lose the joy-shaped hole in my heart, but it can get empty.  I simply have to fill it up with Him.  When I’ve filled my heart with Him, His joy shines on the outside and it’s uncontrollable.

According to the dictionary, joy comes from being fully satisfied. 

Satisfy me, Lord, so that I can live a joyful life, a testament of Your never-ending love for me.

I’ll leave you with a passage that is so fitting for this topic.  These are words spoken by Jesus, commanding us to be authentic, joy-filled Christians.

            “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.  You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you.  Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.
Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches.  Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit.  For apart from me you can do nothing.  Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers.  Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned.  But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted.  When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples.  This brings great glory to my Father. 

I have loved you even as the Father has loved me.  Remain in my love.  When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.  I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy.  Yes, your joy will overflow!  This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.”  John 15:11

interrupted

Consumed.  Bogged down.  Weighted. 

We find ourselves stuck in these situations more often than not.  With our jobs, our neighbors (a.k.a. Facebook), the current and future state of our nation, with life in general.

And then we find ourselves neglecting what’s most important.  Our relationships, our homes, our children, our spiritual commitment.

I started a new devotional book this week called “Real Mom… Real Jesus.”  Reading the very first chapter, I was gut punched.  I urge you to read it, even if it’s just that first chapter.  I can’t speak for the other chapters because I haven’t read them yet, but I can already tell it’s going to be just what I need.

One of my biggest frustrations (and worst character traits) comes from interruptions.  Interruptions in my plans, my schedule, my “that wasn’t supposed to happen that way” life.  The frustration… I bring it upon myself.  I don’t pray enough.  I don’t spend enough time in His word.  I don’t ask for help when I need it.  I try to fix everything.  And I take my frustrations out on my kids.  I find myself crying over spilled milk (literally and metaphorically).  When my kids act like, well, KIDS, I find myself focusing on their dirty handprints on the windows instead of helping them make memories of a carefree childhood.  I want them to remember me as an encourager… not a complainer.

Bitterness has a way of robbing you, and those around you, of His joy.  And don’t think it goes unnoticed by your kids.  They see your heart.  I think God made them that way to keep us on our toes.

With my tasks as a mom, I focus too much on the interruptions.  But in her book, Savage has some great advice.  Instead of focusing on the interruption, focus on the ministry of availability.  Jesus, like us moms, was in high demand.  When He walked the earth, just like us, he felt stretched thin. 

He was interrupted dozens of times a day.  SO AM I!  (Hey, Mommy.... Mommy..... MOMMY!!!)

He was asked a million questions.  YEAH, ME TOO!  (Have you met my oldest child??)

He understands our struggles as a mom.  But he never let a ministry opportunity slip beyond his grasp.  He used life’s interruptions to touch lives.  To uplift spirits.  To heal the broken.  To bring peace to the suffering.

Savage’s prayer, which has now become mine, is as follows:

"Help me, Lord, to see the ministry of availability, what’s right in front of me.  Help me be a blessing to my family, even when it feels like an interruption.  

Help me to reframe what I do every day as a mom – seeing the interruptions as opportunities rather than frustrations.  Grow in me a servant’s heart that ministers to whoever is standing in front of me."

Sometimes we NEED an interruption to keep us on our knees and our eyes on Him.

Sticks and Stones

What seems to be a hot topic these days on social media?  Tearing others down physically and emotionally.  It’s the norm.  Almost every day, I read about someone having to defend themselves against the criticisms of others.

The problem?  We aren’t held accountable for our words.  On the contrary, here’s what the Bible has to say about that.

And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”  Matthew 15:10-11

We think we can speak whatever is on our minds, whether it’s harmful or helpful to others, and get away with it.  WHY IS THIS?  Do we not think about how our words affect others?  How they affect our testimony?  Our character?  Our relationship with God?  

Our words affect everyone around us, and they affect our own hearts. 

The Bible says “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” 

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.  

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!”

Wow.  We don’t realize how much power, life and death, we spew out of our mouths daily.

Seeing how a television news anchor can degrade a woman simply because she’s angry about life and her hurtful words have hardly any consequences, we have become a society who can say anything to anyone and it be acceptable. 

Twitter was bombarded with hateful comments about Pink’s (the performer and MOTHER) body and weight after she posted a picture taken with her daughter, dressed in an evening gown where she looks absolutely stunning.  Yet folks wanna say she’s gained too much weight and is "too fat."  Have you seen that picture???  Google it and tell me if YOU think she's "fat."  I prefer to think she's perfect.  Whose place is it to judge her body image and what’s too skinny or too fat, too pretty or too ugly?  Who has the right to make that judgment???  Not any one of us.

And yet we do it.  We are constantly critical of others and hold nothing back when speaking our thoughts.  And it’s downright dangerous.  Not only are we damaging the spirit of the person at the other end of our judgment, but also we are hardening our own hearts, creating bitterness and ugliness inside of ourselves.  

And we are teaching our children to do the same.

My “Mommy Instincts” want to protect my kids from the hurtful words of others.  However, the only option I have is to teach them to guard their hearts, forgive others, and speak only life into those around them.  And I can teach them to be accountable, because the Lord WILL hold them accountable.

But while they are still young, it’s my responsibility… to show them how to love unconditionally, with no filters for what our society calls “fat” and “ugly.” 

Carrie Underwood’s new song “Little Toy Guns” is so accurate and appropriate for today.  I do wish words were like little toy guns.  No pain.  No hurting anyone.  No smoke.  No bullets.  Just a “bang, bang” rolling off your tongue. 

If only it were that simple.

Words are hurtful.  Choose them wisely, my friends.  You can NEVER, ever, ever take them back.

Count Your MANY Blessings

I am so ashamed to admit this, but I like being real here on my blog.  No sugar coating.

I don't pray as much as I should.  It is something that honestly just slips my mind.  

How awful, right?  

He wakes me up each morning, and the first thing I utter should be "Thank You, Lord, for this fresh new start."  I'm really good at making excuses.  However, I can't come up with a good one for this.  Laziness, kids, life... sure.  But it doesn't justify my lack of commitment and devotion to My Maker.

I can beat myself up about my shortcomings, but there's one thing that will never change.  

His love for me.  

Most of the time, my prayer time comes in the late hours of the night.  I'll lie awake in bed, unable to turn off my brain, and that's usually when he prompts my spirit to spend a little time with Him.  It always turns out to be the most comforting and relaxing part of my day.  I have time to really focus on the important things in life.  

While my best friend ever in this lifetime (and that's no exaggeration) snores beside me, I'm able to lay my hand on him, without him ever knowing, and pray blessings over his life.  If anyone deserves them, blessings and rewards, it's him.  He's my rock as we walk through this crazy life together.

Last night, as I lay listening to Jett cough... and cough... and cough, I was able to focus on my babies.  I don't need any reminders of how extremely blessed I am to be given the opportunity to be their mother... to help lead them and guide them in the direction He would have them go.  He's given me a most important job and I pray that I'm able to do my very best.  I can never be the example He intends for me to be without his guidance, strength, and patience.  And that's something I focus most of my prayers on.  I need His guidance to help me make the best decisions when it comes to raising my boys.  I need His strength to face the obstacles that parenting can bring.  And I need His patience, each and every day, to love my boys with my whole heart, showing them compassion and teaching them to love like Jesus loved.

And I can never end a prayer without thanking the Lord for the MANY blessings he has placed on my life.  I cannot even begin to comprehend why He thinks I'm worthy, but I am so glad he does.  Yes, we struggle.  Yes, we live life the hard way sometimes.  We may WANT, but we never NEED.  This year in particular, Jason and I made a pledge to give our time, talents, and treasures as He asked us to do.  It hasn't always been easy.  There have been some months where we really could've used that extra money.  But we stayed faithful and HE HAS BLESSED US.  He never said it would be easy, but He said it would be worth it.  It definitely has been.  

He has blessed our finances, our home, our children, 

and He's given us a thankful heart.

This year, I'm thankful for His MANY blessings... blessings that I haven't even seen happen yet.  Blessings that are too numerous to count.  

Blessings in disguise.

At the close of this year and the start of a new, count YOUR many blessings.
And don't forget to say "Thank You!"


"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  

stress and stressors

I am thankful for encouraging words from a friend.  

Someone who just simply said, “Hey, I’ve been there.  It’ll be okay.”

Today’s major dilemma in the Perkins’ household is
“the big P” = POTTY TRAINING.  

Pee.  Poop.  

I'm keepin' it real.

There are days, like today, when I feel like potty training a 2-year-old is pointless.  It’s unenjoyable, stressful, tiresome, and downright impossible.  Now, your 2-year-old may totally be grasping the concept.  But I have found that my children were cursed with an “I refuse to stop pooping in my pants” gene.  I just thought I would lose my sanity with the first kid.  But the second is EVEN HARDER!  That’s not supposed to be!  It’s not normal.  By the time the oldest has mastered using the toilet, the baby should just follow suit.  But that definitely hasn’t been the case in our house.

This morning, I had a momentary lapse of reason, and I just sat on the edge of the tub and fussed.  I fussed at my baby boy for messing up 2 Pull-Ups in less than 3 hours.  We had barely even gotten the day started!  But the only thing that meltdown accomplished was making him cry.  I got the puppy dog face and real tears!  Now, he doesn’t just feel bad for wetting his pants, he feels bad for making Mommy lose it.  And he still doesn’t understand the importance and convenience of the potty.

While trying to figure out my next plan of action (ie: potty charts, surprises, time outs) it hit me:  

If this is my biggest worry today, I’m doing pretty dang good!  

I am beyond blessed and there is ABSOLUTELY no reason I should be stressing over this.  He’s just a baby.  And I don’t know many 5-year-olds who have started kindergarten in diapers.  

He’ll get there… but not by pushing him.

Isn’t that how we react about lots of things in life?  Sometimes even daily.  Something stresses us out to the point we just mentally break down.  We lose sleep, we’re irritable, we’re bitter, and that affects every aspect of our lives – our relationships with our family, friends and God.

Mark 4:19

“but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.” The Message

“but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.” NIV

(And lest we forget that He dealt with all kinds of troubles.  He is no stranger to hardships.) 

Unfortunately, sometimes we are faced with major ordeals that so easily take us off course – cancer, death, financial trouble, etc.  And those are definitely worthy of meltdowns.  

But too often, we allow trivial things, worries, and hardships to inhabit our hearts and minds to the point that we can’t focus on the good and important things.  They cloud our vision, keeping us from seeing life through our "trusting and faith-filled" eyes.

Stress is a real thing.  And it happens to the best of us…. ALL of us.  I am just simply trying to teach myself to deal with it in a much more effective way;  

taking those stressors and weighing them against all the blessings in my life.  

In the grand scheme of things, they are tiny, little troubles that will pass... bumps in the road that I will cross over.  There’s no reason to put a halt on things and give up, damaging relationships and losing focus.

James 1:2-4

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

There are so many things in life that we have zero control over.  However, there’s one that’s totally up to us.  
The most important variable when dealing with stress is your attitude.  

Attitude adjustments can make a world of difference.

It's tough, but be thankful for the hiccups in life, and take them in stride.  Make a game plan, adjust your attitude, and deal with it!  
Put things in perspective.  

The stressors will always be there, but the stress doesn’t have to be.

Sometimes we just need someone to tell us, “It’s all going to be okay.  You've got this!”

And DON’T FORGET TO PRAY! 

Nope, it’s not too silly to pray for your potty-training children.  
I do it all the time!  

He told me I could…

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

"Sold out, Plan A" kind of girl

This morning at Christway, Pastor Donnie did some preaching.  Not some watered down, feel-good gospel sharing.  It was a “step on your toes” message that I definitely needed to hear.  I found myself lost in thought afterward, applying his message to my daily life.  There were a couple of thoughts that stuck in my head, and I felt compelled to share them with you.  I’ll make this short and sweet.

#1 - So many Christians these days are “buying in” to religion; the feel good kind of religion.  

They want the mega churches, the light displays, the goosebumps.  But being a Christian does not require “buying in.”  It requires SELLING OUT!  God doesn’t just want your worship on Sunday… He wants your thoughts on Monday, your praise on Tuesday, and your adoration on Wednesday.  He wants your time, your talents, AND your treasure.

When surveying my life and my daily walk with Him, I always consider my relationship with my kids and my responsibilities as a parent.  Am I teaching my children to be 100% dependent on Him?  Can they see that He always comes first, not just when it's convenient?  Am I guiding them toward a God-centered life, sold out and completely dedicated?  I sure hope the answers are yes, yes and YES, or else I'm failing at my most important job.

#2 - Christians today prefer row boats. 

If you've ever been on a cruise ship, you know they are equipped with life boats (row boats).  There has to be a backup plan in case of an emergency.  But our Christian walk can’t be that way.  We can't jump in a row boat when the seas get rocky and our ship starts to sink.  

When Plan A gets too tough, we tend to look for a Plan B.  With God, there is no Plan B.  It’s all or nothing; His way or the highway.  I have an obligation to teach my children that there is no other option but Plan A - His way.  

When times get tough, we get tougher.  When money is tight, we don’t stop giving.  When we’re faced with sickness, we believe for healing.  When fear grips us, we pray for peace.  

 “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” - He said it; we have to believe it!

When the going gets tough, and we all know it's going to, we have to stick with God’s plan.  We have to teach our children to depend on Him in each and every situation that we face.  

And we have to start NOW.  

I know that my boys will one day grow up and make their own decisions in life.  They may choose Him, and they may choose to stray.  But I have to teach them to walk the straight and narrow, in case no one else does.  That's MY responsibility.  They have to see me make a conscious effort each day to take up my cross and follow Him.  I have to lead them on a path that leads to God and pray that they follow.  

They will never learn to trust in the Plan A unless they see me trusting, too!

I'll leave you with this statement, because it meant so much to me.  It's a great reminder when walking the Christian walk.   

“ Jesus doesn’t need to be a part of your life, He needs to BE your life.”  

generous love

Several nights a week, my husband and I have a personal pow-wow while lying in bed.  We spend that time discussing things (and people) that have been on our minds and hearts… things that happened throughout the day, how the kids made us proud, how the kids drove us to near insanity, things that have upset us, people who have disappointed us, issues that are bogging our minds (one, in particular, is a daily struggle for me).  It’s just a time for us, with no one else listening, to share our thoughts with each other.  No, we don’t spend all of our time bashing folks – though we feel like doing that sometimes.  But we encourage each other – help each other in our walk.

Last night’s discussion ended with “why can’t we all just get along?”

That would be nice, right?

How many times a day do you think disgusting or hurtful thoughts about someone?  Let’s just be real.  We’re all human and we all have a not-so-nice side.  God didn’t intend for us to “gel” with every single person walking.  He made us all different, and let's face it - sometimes we clash.  We all have “that person” we just really can’t stand to be around.  Or “that person” that drives us up the wall.  Or “that person” that is just too stinkin’ pretty for their own good and they make it a point to let everyone know.

But how many times do we let those thoughts affect our attitudes throughout our daily walk?  How many times do we let our kids hear us make degrading comments or insults about a person, someone who is supposed to be our brother or sister in Christ?

1 Corinthians 10:13 says this: 

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it.”

In Isaiah 55:8 the Lord says:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”

So let’s think about this.  He’s already told us that we’re human.  There’s no temptation (or evil thought) that’s uncommon to man.  We all deal with it.  

BUT, he said bring it to me!  Don’t harbor ill feelings; they'll harden your heart.  Just bring them to me.  I’ll help you deal.  I’ll take your trash and turn it into treasure.  

The Lord doesn’t know evil.  His ways are much higher than ours.

BUT, he knows how to squash the enemy (and our bitter attitudes) when necessary.

This is the key…

2 Peter 1:3-8 says this:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.   For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

I don’t know how much more straightforward you can get!  He’s laid it all on the line, given us a way to escape from our troubles, our stress, our worry AND our bad attitudes.  He’s told us exactly what to do with them and what will happen if we hang on to them. 

I may not always be in tip-top shape, but there are two things I definitely do not want to be: ineffective and unproductive.

I also like the way The Message lays it out, and it actually sums up the whole point of this post.

“So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others.”

The New Living Translation calls it “brotherly affection with love for everyone.”

I know a few folks who test my patience, my character, my friendliness, and they make it really hard to love generously.  But that’s what He has called us to do.  And how will our children learn to love generously unless they see us doing it?

So next time those thoughts meander their way into your brain, instead of building on the hurt, the ugliness, the bitterness… take it to Him.  Let him turn your thoughts into ones of basic faith and generous love.